11 - My Mind Isn’t Empty, It’s a Void

Running Song(s) of the Day:

Which Chicago by Sufjan Stevens would you like to run to today?

All answers are correct.

ALL THINGS GO, ALL THINGS GO.

Today’s Run:

Mind was elsewhere today. Not tuned in to the run like I usually am. I guess it’s a sign of my own conditioning that I can basically ignore a 10k run, but I don’t like it.

Part of this exercise, aside from being a stupid thing, an artistic thing, a durability thing, aside from those things, part of this whole thing is to be present. You can’t hack your way through a 10k. You have to put your shoes on and go outside and do the damn thing. And the doing the thing is the part that matters. Do it, pay attention to it.

Pay attention to the old painted on sign on the exposed brick of the apartment buildings for a department store that no longer exists. Pay attention to the little creek in the woods just off from the sidewalk. Pay attention to the other runners, the walkers, the dog walkers, the cyclists, and everyone else moving through this small part of the world at this small moment.

Not today.

I was thinking of other projects, far away lands, distant memories, people covered in shadows, science experiments gone awry. I was thinking of five years of build up that might mean nothing, or might mean shipwreck, or might mean successful liftoff. I was thinking about people named Mike, Leo, Violet, Sean, David, Comet, Craig, and J and RMcG and whoever else.

I was thinking about the best/easiest way to tear apart the desk upstairs that weighs 200+ pounds. It’s all wood joints and glue; gonna get messy. Thinking about when I’m gonna actually start eating better and taking care of myself again. Thinking about thinking about all the stuff I’m thinking about that I shouldn’t be thinking about.

The miles go by.

Same loop, different day, different brain waves, same brain.

Back home and my mind is elsewhere. This is the thing we are trying to avoid, but avoidance is a skill that seeps through your bones when you get to used to it, to good at always avoiding someone’s eye line, or certain responsibilities, or the fence that fell down in the backyard, or your dad getting older and less able, or what this country’ll look like a year from now, five, ten.

Other places is where I’m living.

6.23 miles
in
1:03:32
so it was
5.9mph on avg
with
531 ft of vert
and i’ve run
78.41 miles this Spring

Green o’ the Day:

As mentioned yesterday, I know shit-all about plants but I think these little guys look cool.